With holiday like Valentine’s Day scattered throughout the year, the feeling of hope and enjoyment for festivities arises in the souls of many people. After the depressing events of the past three years, holidays can be a welcome relief from dreadful day-to-day life. However, for many people, the holidays are not exactly “joyful” or full of love.

While holidays can be exciting for some, for others, they can be difficult and painful. Holiday associations can remind people of what they don’t have; many people don’t have stable relationships with their family to spend time with them, and some don’t have enough money to have a proper holiday dinner or buy presents. While these situations can be hard, losing a loved one around the holidays can make it extremely difficult. Too many, it feels almost as if all future holiday celebrations must stop because the one person who loved the holidays is no longer there.

Grief is not a linear process; it is okay to have setbacks, as long as you know that you are not alone and have people to help you. It is also important to learn to be patient with yourself. Once you learn that you are not alone, the easier it will be to talk about things like loss and your feelings— and the more you talk about it, the better you will feel.  While grieving makes you think of sad thoughts, try and remember the happy memories you had with the lost loved one. Even though this task is easier said than done, it may make the holidays more bearable. More advice? Surround yourself with loved ones and find comfort with each other.

Consequently, holiday seasons mark the time of year where the most suicides happen, usually because of grief or just general discontent. If you think that this sounds like something you’re going through, please reach out to a friend or trusted adult. It may feel like you’re alone right now, but someone is always open to listening, you don’t have to deal with this alone. Remember to be patient with yourself and please try to remember that grief doesn’t have a timeline.  

If you see a friend struggling during this holiday season, please reach out and help them, even if it’s just a kind word or gesture.  

If you need to get connected with grief resources, get in contact with your local Hospice to get connected with grief programs or additional support.